








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1662 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 406 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 198 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 46 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 129 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




102 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10231 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,247 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8881 | 29% |
| Smokes | 9715 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 5174 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 6477 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,915,029 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10722 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LGDS | 70% | 47 |
| #2 | AkA | 67% | 66 |
| #3 | Blunk | 65% | 111 |
| #4 | Tosi | 65% | 336 |
| #5 | Metr1ckZ | 64% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | SMECTA | 61% | 287 |
| #10 | FLAGADA ツ | 58% | 48 |
| #11 | Skwi | 58% | 57 |
| #12 | gz | 55% | 138 |
| #13 | D2 Bravo_415 | 44% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tosi | 65 | 0.0102 |
| #2 | SMECTA | 39 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | Metr1ckZ | 15 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | D2 Bravo_415 | 14 | 0.0126 |
| #5 | xIIK 侍 | 7 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tosi | 1127 | 0.18 | 29 min |
| #2 | SMECTA | 843 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #3 | Phûûcc✔ | 684 | 0.26 | 19 min |
| #4 | Blunk | 436 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #5 | gz | 327 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪-Swag | +4.09 | 78 | 65 |
| #2 | gz | +2.30 | 92 | 58 |
| #3 | xIIK 侍 | +1.73 | 89 | 41 |
| #4 | SMECTA | +1.51 | 89 | 53 |
| #5 | Tosi | +1.42 | 81 | 62 |





