








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1484 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 620 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 117 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8701 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,143 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10725 | 34% |
| Smokes | 6682 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 6808 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 6928 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,511,924 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 241 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Iron | 68% | 60 |
| #2 | xIIK 侍 | 67% | 84 |
| #3 | ✪-Swag | 65% | 111 |
| #4 | Tosi | 64% | 135 |
| #5 | Insight | 61% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | AkA | 49% | 367 |
| #16 | xpRim | 48% | 154 |
| #17 | FLAGADA ツ | 48% | 281 |
| #18 | ✪ $ilvesteR | 46% | 90 |
| #19 | Skwi | 43% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tosi | 35 | 0.0131 |
| #2 | AkA | 18 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Metr1ckZ | 17 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | ✪-Swag | 16 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | SMECTA | 14 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phûûcc✔ | 1602 | 0.27 | 47 min |
| #2 | AkA | 1058 | 0.14 | 23 min |
| #3 | xpRim | 798 | 0.25 | 20 min |
| #4 | Sʍiℓy | 616 | 0.24 | 18 min |
| #5 | FLAGADA ツ | 539 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪-Swag | +4.74 | 76 | 68 |
| #2 | Sʍiℓy | +3.91 | 92 | 70 |
| #3 | xIIK 侍 | +3.01 | 89 | 52 |
| #4 | Hoקe | +1.34 | 80 | 65 |
| #5 | Blunk | +1.27 | 77 | 69 |





