








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1645 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 385 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 154 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 104 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




120 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9284 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,182 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7306 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5452 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 6848 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 5576 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,266,566 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 459 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xIIK 侍 | 67% | 126 |
| #2 | ✪-Swag | 65% | 336 |
| #3 | Blunk | 64% | 135 |
| #4 | Insight | 63% | 67 |
| #5 | AkA | 61% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Skwi | 60% | 67 |
| #8 | Metr1ckZ | 60% | 136 |
| #9 | SMECTA | 59% | 257 |
| #10 | FLAGADA ツ | 54% | 56 |
| #11 | gz | 52% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪-Swag | 50 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | SMECTA | 33 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | Metr1ckZ | 16 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | xIIK 侍 | 8 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Blunk | 7 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪-Swag | 1136 | 0.18 | 30 min |
| #2 | SMECTA | 878 | 0.18 | 17 min |
| #3 | Phûûcc✔ | 662 | 0.27 | 18 min |
| #4 | Blunk | 509 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #5 | Skwi | 319 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪-Swag | +3.65 | 75 | 64 |
| #2 | gz | +3.29 | 91 | 61 |
| #3 | xIIK 侍 | +3.23 | 89 | 50 |
| #4 | SMECTA | +2.14 | 90 | 55 |
| #5 | Tosi | +2.14 | 81 | 65 |





