








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 834 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 264 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3523 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,229 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2799 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2373 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1306 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 2751 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,091,587 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 802 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YourBiggestNightmare | 58% | 26 |
| #2 | Middle G | 48% | 162 |
| #3 | jaNNu | 46% | 114 |
| #4 | FrxstyQ | 46% | 165 |
| #5 | Top G | 40% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Middle G | 48% | 162 |
| #3 | jaNNu | 46% | 114 |
| #4 | FrxstyQ | 46% | 165 |
| #5 | Top G | 40% | 30 |
| #6 | Massa | 38% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Middle G | 19 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | FrxstyQ | 14 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | jaNNu | 10 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Top G | 4 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | YourBiggestNightmare | 4 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jaNNu | 600 | 0.25 | 18 min |
| #2 | Middle G | 578 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #3 | FrxstyQ | 241 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #4 | Massa | 221 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | Top G | 129 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jaNNu | +4.67 | 72 | 71 |
| #2 | Top G | +3.74 | 64 | 62 |
| #3 | Locul | +1.75 | 50 | 44 |
| #4 | YourBiggestNightmare | +0.66 | 41 | 44 |
| #5 | FrxstyQ | -0.85 | 46 | 39 |





