








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 293 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 289 matches | ||
| Wingman | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




68 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3551 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,750 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2222 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1303 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1811 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1414 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,566,103 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 487 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baltimeister | 56% | 39 |
| #2 | Paul John | 44% | 268 |
| #3 | The dark passenger♿ | 42% | 165 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baltimeister | 56% | 39 |
| #2 | Paul John | 44% | 268 |
| #3 | The dark passenger♿ | 42% | 165 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The dark passenger♿ | 55 | 0.0165 |
| #2 | Paul John | 44 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | baltimeister | 4 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paul John | 676 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #2 | The dark passenger♿ | 416 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | baltimeister | 53 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skib | +2.11 | 51 | 34 |
| #2 | baltimeister | +0.25 | 44 | 41 |
| #3 | Paul John | -1.46 | 28 | 31 |
| #4 | The dark passenger♿ | -5.17 | 4 | 22 |





