








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1349 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 463 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7105 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,035 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8197 | 37% |
| Smokes | 5075 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5565 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3198 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,428,505 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 678 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SumSar | 66% | 50 |
| #2 | Massa | 48% | 244 |
| #3 | Excel exe. | 48% | 103 |
| #4 | gothgirl63 | 46% | 114 |
| #5 | Top G | 45% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | gothgirl63 | 46% | 114 |
| #5 | Top G | 45% | 33 |
| #6 | baltimeister | 43% | 90 |
| #7 | Paul John | 40% | 78 |
| #8 | WOnDeRcHiLd | 26% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gothgirl63 | 12 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Excel exe. | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Paul John | 7 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Top G | 6 | 0.0083 |
| #5 | Massa | 5 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Massa | 590 | 0.11 | 17 min |
| #2 | Paul John | 387 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #3 | gothgirl63 | 333 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | Excel exe. | 140 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Top G | 135 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Top G | +3.95 | 68 | 64 |
| #2 | jaNNu | +2.43 | 74 | 69 |
| #3 | SumSar | +2.17 | 70 | 57 |
| #4 | Excel exe. | +0.78 | 76 | 44 |
| #5 | gothgirl63 | +0.26 | 50 | 49 |





