








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 607 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 262 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3177 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,888 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3228 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1964 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2010 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2686 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,377,355 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 330 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Excel exe. | 50% | 24 |
| #2 | jaNNu | 48% | 244 |
| #3 | baltimeister | 39% | 67 |
| #4 | gothgirl63 | 38% | 91 |
| #5 | Paul John | 33% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | jaNNu | 48% | 244 |
| #3 | baltimeister | 39% | 67 |
| #4 | gothgirl63 | 38% | 91 |
| #5 | Paul John | 33% | 58 |
| #6 | Top G | 26% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jaNNu | 16 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | gothgirl63 | 9 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Paul John | 7 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | baltimeister | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Excel exe. | 3 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jaNNu | 1131 | 0.22 | 34 min |
| #2 | Paul John | 307 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #3 | gothgirl63 | 261 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | baltimeister | 112 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Top G | 106 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Top G | +3.31 | 70 | 60 |
| #2 | jaNNu | +3.04 | 75 | 70 |
| #3 | gothgirl63 | +0.84 | 48 | 49 |
| #4 | Excel exe. | +0.83 | 75 | 47 |
| #5 | baltimeister | -0.68 | 52 | 56 |





