








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1592 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 510 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 68 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11159 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 64,519 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 23261 | 36% |
| Smokes | 16377 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 11578 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 13303 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,263,329 of utility $52 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 774 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Frighten | 55% | 85 |
| #5 | EDM | 52% | 227 |
| #6 | CeeeeeeJ | 51% | 177 |
| #7 | DaimonAngel | 51% | 115 |
| #8 | Ancros | 50% | 161 |





