








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1098 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 59 matches | ||
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5129 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,575 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4433 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3307 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3728 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4107 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,128,331 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 522 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | carl | 71% | 48 |
| #2 | vita | 70% | 43 |
| #3 | OSHA | 69% | 42 |
| #4 | YouForgotToAim | 67% | 46 |
| #5 | dolph | 63% | 207 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | EDM | 52% | 27 |
| #12 | Borge | 48% | 48 |
| #13 | Baked as fuck lol | 47% | 30 |
| #14 | EarningGore | 42% | 38 |
| #15 | MysticZqch | 35% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dolph | 1512 | 0.36 | 42 min |
| #2 | carl | 219 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | Frighten | 183 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #4 | FUCK.NUTS.MCGEE | 151 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | vita | 148 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Endadoor | +5.08 | 81 | 62 |
| #2 | CeeeeeeJ | +1.56 | 81 | 58 |
| #3 | Frighten | +1.23 | 83 | 71 |
| #4 | dolph | +1.09 | 78 | 78 |
| #5 | vita | +0.35 | 90 | 49 |





