








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 370 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 488 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6749 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,180 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6793 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4264 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 6177 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2946 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,571,030 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 389 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zerotwo | 50% | 50 |
| #2 | Pnad | 47% | 38 |
| #3 | HELPPP HELP ME HELP! | 47% | 32 |
| #4 | TeaJaey | 47% | 32 |
| #5 | frenchzebra | 45% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Pnad | 47% | 38 |
| #3 | HELPPP HELP ME HELP! | 47% | 32 |
| #4 | TeaJaey | 47% | 32 |
| #5 | frenchzebra | 45% | 47 |
| #6 | G Money | 42% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frenchzebra | 13 | 0.0135 |
| #2 | TeaJaey | 13 | 0.0225 |
| #3 | G Money | 11 | 0.0120 |
| #4 | zerotwo | 10 | 0.0100 |
| #5 | HELPPP HELP ME HELP! | 3 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frenchzebra | 212 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #2 | zerotwo | 93 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Pnad | 86 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | HELPPP HELP ME HELP! | 70 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | TeaJaey | 30 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TeaJaey | +1.75 | 73 | 26 |
| #2 | xaint_laurent | +0.91 | 77 | 56 |
| #3 | zerotwo | +0.11 | 75 | 57 |
| #4 | frenchzebra | -0.53 | 63 | 57 |
| #5 | G Money | -0.65 | 61 | 20 |





