








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 61 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3777 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,527 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2853 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4041 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4180 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2453 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,466,461 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 653 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Uter Zörker | 56% | 273 |
| #2 | Trycilly | 53% | 278 |
| #3 | MajorMonogram | 51% | 250 |
| #4 | Bop Bop | 51% | 323 |
| #5 | Gru | 51% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Trycilly | 53% | 278 |
| #3 | MajorMonogram | 51% | 250 |
| #4 | Bop Bop | 51% | 323 |
| #5 | Gru | 51% | 104 |
| #6 | T4keTheL | 50% | 253 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Uter Zörker | 30 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Trycilly | 22 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | T4keTheL | 17 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Bop Bop | 13 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | MajorMonogram | 9 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Uter Zörker | 764 | 0.14 | 19 min |
| #2 | Bop Bop | 722 | 0.11 | 19 min |
| #3 | T4keTheL | 561 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #4 | Trycilly | 393 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #5 | Gru | 337 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WASD | +2.52 | 77 | 66 |
| #2 | Uter Zörker | +1.26 | 73 | 65 |
| #3 | Gru | +1.12 | 86 | 66 |
| #4 | Bop Bop | +1.01 | 80 | 72 |
| #5 | Trycilly | -1.58 | 68 | 60 |





