








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 63 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2303 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,377 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2297 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2349 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3277 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1454 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,215,398 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shoud | 63% | 40 |
| #2 | GaineSugarPie | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | Uter Zörker | 54% | 173 |
| #4 | Gru | 53% | 55 |
| #5 | WASD | 50% | 253 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Gru | 53% | 55 |
| #5 | WASD | 50% | 253 |
| #6 | Trycilly | 50% | 238 |
| #7 | MajorMonogram | 49% | 170 |
| #8 | Bop Bop | 49% | 263 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Uter Zörker | 23 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | WASD | 20 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Trycilly | 18 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Bop Bop | 14 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | MajorMonogram | 6 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bop Bop | 609 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #2 | WASD | 514 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #3 | Uter Zörker | 477 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #4 | Trycilly | 328 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #5 | Gru | 158 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shoud | +4.20 | 79 | 74 |
| #2 | WASD | +2.86 | 75 | 66 |
| #3 | Uter Zörker | +1.73 | 74 | 65 |
| #4 | Gru | +1.70 | 83 | 66 |
| #5 | Bop Bop | +1.15 | 80 | 73 |





