








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1756 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 923 matches | ||
| Faceit | 249 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Renown | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 240 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14091 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 43,351 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 14399 | 33% |
| Smokes | 10904 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 8637 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 9411 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,214,186 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2371 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trycilly | 52% | 122 |
| #2 | Uter Zörker | 51% | 137 |
| #3 | WASD | 51% | 104 |
| #4 | Baumi | 49% | 98 |
| #5 | Bop Bop | 48% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | tempLando | 46% | 176 |
| #10 | Sonyally | 46% | 127 |
| #11 | boubacar | 44% | 232 |
| #12 | *FUCHS* | 42% | 102 |
| #13 | faberhahn | 41% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nefar1o | 16 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | boubacar | 10 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | tempLando | 10 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Uter Zörker | 10 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Phillybeef | 6 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nefar1o | 3303 | 0.25 | 89 min |
| #2 | boubacar | 1006 | 0.20 | 25 min |
| #3 | Phillybeef | 797 | 0.32 | 23 min |
| #4 | tempLando | 725 | 0.19 | 18 min |
| #5 | *FUCHS* | 606 | 0.27 | 15 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WASD | +1.39 | 77 | 62 |
| #2 | Gru | +1.25 | 86 | 66 |
| #3 | tempLando | +1.08 | 64 | 64 |
| #4 | Uter Zörker | +0.80 | 71 | 70 |
| #5 | Bop Bop | +0.04 | 79 | 69 |





