








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 544 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




69 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2957 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,006 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3050 | 61% |
| Smokes | 822 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1001 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 133 | 3% |
Our logs show you have wasted $738,700 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1457 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Seskus | 53% | 36 |
| #2 | Salieras | 51% | 115 |
| #3 | salieras | 43% | 84 |
| #4 | ุ | 36% | 25 |
| #5 | scarfz | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Salieras | 37 | 0.0163 |
| #2 | salieras | 35 | 0.0215 |
| #3 | scarfz | 10 | 0.0370 |
| #4 | purpol | 8 | 0.0233 |
| #5 | Seskus | 7 | 0.0099 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Salieras | 506 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #2 | salieras | 501 | 0.31 | 9 min |
| #3 | Seskus | 130 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | scuffyG | 62 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | purpol | 58 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Seskus | +3.16 | 95 | 56 |
| #2 | Salieras | +1.80 | 91 | 51 |
| #3 | salieras | +1.56 | 94 | 52 |
| #4 | scarfz | +0.79 | 88 | 42 |
| #5 | scuffyG | +0.74 | 94 | 32 |





