








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1996 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 286 matches | ||
| Faceit | 177 matches | ||
| Wingman | 165 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 130 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9223 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,557 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8284 | 29% |
| Smokes | 8398 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4527 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 7348 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,484,474 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2013 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Riwi :3 | 66% | 53 |
| #2 | Amadeus | 63% | 65 |
| #3 | Steel™ | 58% | 84 |
| #4 | GrayshaValor | 56% | 160 |
| #5 | pgxy | 53% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | pgxy | 53% | 115 |
| #6 | shfty | 50% | 159 |
| #7 | Birb | 49% | 69 |
| #8 | AgentKiri | 46% | 74 |
| #9 | ZarM | 42% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steel™ | 9 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Amadeus | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | shfty | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | GrayshaValor | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | pgxy | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shfty | 532 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | pgxy | 439 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #3 | GrayshaValor | 357 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #4 | Steel™ | 267 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #5 | Riwi :3 | 264 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chipper412 | +3.29 | 84 | 68 |
| #2 | Steel™ | +1.48 | 87 | 52 |
| #3 | Riwi :3 | +1.33 | 71 | 66 |
| #4 | GrayshaValor | +1.21 | 81 | 65 |
| #5 | Birb | +0.96 | 81 | 59 |





