








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 221 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 209 matches | ||
| Faceit | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3863 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,226 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3253 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2195 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2309 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2469 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,038,235 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 253 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Toast | 44% | 39 |
| #9 | wist | 41% | 34 |
| #10 | Prodigy Toast | 40% | 73 |
| #11 | jizzy | 33% | 33 |
| #12 | sloppy bill on the pill | 33% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sletong | 447 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #2 | S1umppy | 304 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | Prodigy Toast | 286 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #4 | LittleJohnny | 280 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | Midas | 108 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Midas | +3.64 | 68 | 27 |
| #2 | playstationpizza | +2.31 | 66 | 61 |
| #3 | S1umppy | +1.90 | 57 | 55 |
| #4 | LittleJohnny | +1.60 | 66 | 58 |
| #5 | Ryan | +1.20 | 87 | 36 |





