










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 688 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 75 matches | ||
| Wingman | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 43 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




110 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4542 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,455 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4652 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3509 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2846 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2448 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $973,471 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1184 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | José le boucher | 53% | 92 |
| #7 | Midori | 53% | 333 |
| #8 | sparkh | 51% | 37 |
| #9 | SLITZ | 42% | 36 |
| #10 | MiniRehvaro | 32% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Midori | 107 | 0.0173 |
| #2 | SLITZ | 18 | 0.0286 |
| #3 | José le boucher | 13 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | MiniRehvaro | 9 | 0.0128 |
| #5 | MiniRehvaro° | 6 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Midori | 1159 | 0.19 | 26 min |
| #2 | MiniRehvaro <3 | 185 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | sparkh | 146 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | SLITZ | 137 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #5 | José le boucher | 116 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sparkh | +3.26 | 82 | 51 |
| #2 | MiniRehvaro° | +1.69 | 76 | 64 |
| #3 | Midori | +1.68 | 75 | 63 |
| #4 | MiniRehvaro <3 | +1.54 | 72 | 62 |
| #5 | Zerynox | +1.43 | 71 | 61 |





