








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 320 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1355 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,754 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 902 | 33% |
| Smokes | 847 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 827 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 178 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $344,863 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 488 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | REVY | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | Midori | 49% | 51 |
| #3 | sparkh | 43% | 7 |
| #4 | José le boucher | 43% | 14 |
| #5 | Zwix | 32% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | REVY | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | Midori | 49% | 51 |
| #3 | sparkh | 43% | 7 |
| #4 | José le boucher | 43% | 14 |
| #5 | Zwix | 32% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Midori | 23 | 0.0243 |
| #2 | Zwix | 13 | 0.0184 |
| #3 | José le boucher | 4 | 0.0148 |
| #4 | REVY | 2 | 0.0091 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Midori | 178 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #2 | Zwix | 67 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | sparkh | 27 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | José le boucher | 19 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | REVY | 6 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MiniRehvaro | +2.83 | 81 | 64 |
| #2 | sparkh | +0.96 | 92 | 61 |
| #3 | Midori | +0.32 | 75 | 55 |
| #4 | Zwix | +0.08 | 66 | 56 |
| #5 | REVY | -1.48 | 40 | 45 |





