








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 654 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 275 matches | ||
| Faceit | 95 matches | ||
| Wingman | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




176 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5358 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,088 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5161 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2930 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 3986 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3011 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,533,142 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1549 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♕ Semmy | 57% | 46 |
| #2 | Spongoberg ⚡ | 56% | 70 |
| #3 | Neil | 55% | 147 |
| #4 | ECKS | 55% | 210 |
| #5 | Fozzy | 53% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Sam | 51% | 316 |
| #7 | P1nki | 50% | 291 |
| #8 | (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ sandals♥ | 49% | 37 |
| #9 | milky | 46% | 41 |
| #10 | Danny Is Onetap! | 45% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sam | 50 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | milky | 31 | 0.0455 |
| #3 | P1nki | 28 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ sandals♥ | 19 | 0.0310 |
| #5 | Neil | 18 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ECKS | 603 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #2 | P1nki | 445 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #3 | Sam | 408 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #4 | Neil | 254 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | Spongoberg ⚡ | 164 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♕ Semmy | +2.92 | 85 | 49 |
| #2 | P1nki | +1.55 | 75 | 47 |
| #3 | Danny Is Onetap! | +1.45 | 66 | 76 |
| #4 | bran⛟ | +1.35 | 70 | 51 |
| #5 | ECKS | +1.31 | 79 | 68 |





