








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 557 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 226 matches | ||
| Faceit | 153 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4421 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,475 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3947 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3988 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3221 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4319 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,795,803 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 293 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Fozzy | 52% | 153 |
| #7 | P1nki | 51% | 285 |
| #8 | Walt Jr | 50% | 34 |
| #9 | Spongoberg ⚡ | 48% | 58 |
| #10 | Danny Is Onetap! | 41% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sam | 39 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | bran⛟ | 30 | 0.0099 |
| #3 | P1nki | 14 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | ECKS | 13 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Fozzy | 4 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ECKS | 1186 | 0.14 | 34 min |
| #2 | bran⛟ | 422 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | Sam | 375 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #4 | P1nki | 357 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #5 | Fozzy | 240 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♕ Semmy | +2.57 | 82 | 45 |
| #2 | P1nki | +1.82 | 72 | 47 |
| #3 | ECKS | +1.68 | 79 | 68 |
| #4 | Danny Is Onetap! | +1.17 | 75 | 65 |
| #5 | bran⛟ | +1.09 | 72 | 51 |





