








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1315 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 202 matches | ||
| Faceit | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4094 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,282 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1948 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2543 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2804 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1987 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,978,738 of utility $241 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 834 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LassenCSGO ⚡ | 71% | 34 |
| #2 | faessr | 57% | 21 |
| #3 | P1nki | 57% | 223 |
| #4 | bran⛟ | 56% | 70 |
| #5 | ECKS | 55% | 130 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ECKS | 55% | 130 |
| #6 | Sam | 55% | 150 |
| #7 | Fozzy | 52% | 25 |
| #8 | Danny Is Onetap! | 51% | 41 |
| #9 | Neil | 48% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sam | 18 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | P1nki | 17 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | bran⛟ | 11 | 0.0073 |
| #4 | ECKS | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Neil | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ECKS | 369 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | P1nki | 367 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #3 | LassenCSGO ⚡ | 232 | 0.30 | 7 min |
| #4 | bran⛟ | 201 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | Sam | 188 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Danny Is Onetap! | +1.31 | 77 | 70 |
| #2 | Spongoberg ⚡ | +1.29 | 89 | 56 |
| #3 | ECKS | +1.04 | 78 | 66 |
| #4 | P1nki | +0.97 | 76 | 53 |
| #5 | LassenCSGO ⚡ | -0.04 | 68 | 82 |





