








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 114 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 273 matches | ||
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4694 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,003 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3205 | 19% |
| Smokes | 4983 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3866 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4949 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,197,891 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 129 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♕ Semmy | 57% | 35 |
| #2 | ECKS | 56% | 222 |
| #3 | bran⛟ | 53% | 64 |
| #4 | P1nki | 53% | 200 |
| #5 | Spongoberg ⚡ | 52% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | bran⛟ | 53% | 64 |
| #4 | P1nki | 53% | 200 |
| #5 | Spongoberg ⚡ | 52% | 25 |
| #6 | Neil | 52% | 153 |
| #7 | Sam | 51% | 179 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ECKS | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | P1nki | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | bran⛟ | 6 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Sam | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Neil | 5 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ECKS | 761 | 0.16 | 22 min |
| #2 | Neil | 289 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | bran⛟ | 195 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | P1nki | 193 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | Sam | 134 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♕ Semmy | +2.20 | 84 | 57 |
| #2 | P1nki | +1.86 | 70 | 46 |
| #3 | ECKS | +1.69 | 76 | 71 |
| #4 | Sam | +0.08 | 64 | 49 |
| #5 | Fozzy | -0.20 | 80 | 62 |





