








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 200 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 138 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
980 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,453 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 623 | 25% |
| Smokes | 717 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 763 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 350 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $310,628 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xxtesticlexx | 56% | 57 |
| #2 | Carl XVI Gustaf | 53% | 38 |
| #3 | Blur | 49% | 37 |
| #4 | supermarket | 46% | 39 |
| #5 | Anterro Mafia | 41% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | supermarket | 46% | 39 |
| #5 | Anterro Mafia | 41% | 34 |
| #6 | Napoleon Bonaparte | 32% | 77 |
| #7 | Topzzz | 31% | 13 |
| #8 | rapsak | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xxtesticlexx | 31 | 0.0268 |
| #2 | Napoleon Bonaparte | 29 | 0.0194 |
| #3 | Blur | 19 | 0.0263 |
| #4 | Carl XVI Gustaf | 14 | 0.0191 |
| #5 | rapsak | 10 | 0.0249 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xxtesticlexx | 458 | 0.40 | 3 min |
| #2 | Napoleon Bonaparte | 408 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| #3 | supermarket | 134 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | Blur | 55 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | rapsak | 50 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blur | +2.85 | 64 | 43 |
| #2 | supermarket | +1.75 | 44 | 58 |
| #3 | Carl XVI Gustaf | +1.73 | 54 | 23 |
| #4 | Napoleon Bonaparte | +1.65 | 53 | 22 |
| #5 | Topzzz | +1.29 | 56 | 55 |





