








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 255 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 78 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1191 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,612 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1195 | 46% |
| Smokes | 672 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 524 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 221 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $344,831 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 182 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sl0pye | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | Blur | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | Carl XVI Gustaf | 63% | 16 |
| #4 | rapsak | 59% | 22 |
| #5 | xxtesticlexx | 59% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Science | 50% | 6 |
| #8 | Topzzz | 50% | 22 |
| #9 | Anterro Mafia | 47% | 30 |
| #10 | Sepp | 46% | 39 |
| #11 | Napoleon Bonaparte | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rapsak | 13 | 0.0294 |
| #2 | xxtesticlexx | 11 | 0.0308 |
| #3 | Sl0pye | 11 | 0.0351 |
| #4 | Anterro Mafia | 9 | 0.0146 |
| #5 | Sepp | 8 | 0.0098 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xxtesticlexx | 128 | 0.36 | 1 min |
| #2 | Napoleon Bonaparte | 112 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #3 | Topzzz | 80 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | Sepp | 62 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | rapsak | 43 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blur | +3.32 | 68 | 42 |
| #2 | supermarket | +3.04 | 60 | 53 |
| #3 | Science | +2.18 | 64 | 52 |
| #4 | xxtesticlexx | +1.75 | 25 | 40 |
| #5 | aruküla pro | +0.96 | 35 | 47 |





