








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
380 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 584 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 95 | 16% |
| Smokes | 238 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 164 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 87 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $93,358 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | supermarket | 63% | 16 |
| #3 | Blur | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | Sepp | 53% | 38 |
| #5 | xxtesticlexx | 47% | 17 |
| #6 | rapsak | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sepp | 14 | 0.0190 |
| #2 | xxtesticlexx | 12 | 0.0367 |
| #3 | Blur | 8 | 0.0250 |
| #4 | rapsak | 5 | 0.0244 |
| #5 | supermarket | 4 | 0.0123 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xxtesticlexx | 119 | 0.36 | 1 min |
| #2 | supermarket | 50 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | Sepp | 43 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | rapsak | 35 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | Blur | 25 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | supermarket | +3.97 | 45 | 54 |
| #2 | Blur | +3.09 | 68 | 45 |
| #3 | xxtesticlexx | +2.89 | 23 | 35 |
| #4 | Carl XVI Gustaf | +1.46 | 57 | 26 |
| #5 | rapsak | -0.57 | 33 | 49 |





