










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 452 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
959 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,625 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1178 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1219 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 649 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 579 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $558,007 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 557 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rapsak | 56% | 16 |
| #2 | Anterro Mafia | 47% | 62 |
| #3 | supermarket | 38% | 26 |
| #4 | Sepp | 32% | 77 |
| #5 | Topzzz | 20% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rapsak | 56% | 16 |
| #2 | Anterro Mafia | 47% | 62 |
| #3 | supermarket | 38% | 26 |
| #4 | Sepp | 32% | 77 |
| #5 | Topzzz | 20% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anterro Mafia | 17 | 0.0140 |
| #2 | Sepp | 14 | 0.0093 |
| #3 | rapsak | 11 | 0.0345 |
| #4 | supermarket | 4 | 0.0071 |
| #5 | Topzzz | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sepp | 112 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | Anterro Mafia | 88 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | supermarket | 76 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | rapsak | 43 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #5 | Topzzz | 42 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Napoleon Bonaparte | +1.25 | 52 | 23 |
| #2 | Anterro Mafia | +0.01 | 56 | 42 |
| #3 | supermarket | -0.62 | 42 | 62 |
| #4 | Topzzz | -0.68 | 57 | 53 |
| #5 | rapsak | -1.42 | 16 | 29 |





