








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 295 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 73 matches | ||
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




72 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4096 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,085 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6656 | 32% |
| Smokes | 8178 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 3197 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3054 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,622,282 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 321 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Turbo Fingerz | 35 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | McDubbies | 35 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | DOWN ASS FOO | 7 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | SpudNinja | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Matt | 6 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Turbo Fingerz | 520 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #2 | McDubbies | 493 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | Matt | 485 | 0.26 | 14 min |
| #4 | SpudNinja | 219 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #5 | Stepbutters | 182 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Turbo Fingerz | +4.54 | 72 | 61 |
| #2 | McDubbies | +3.43 | 79 | 59 |
| #3 | Matt | +2.57 | 65 | 73 |
| #4 | SpudNinja | +1.55 | 66 | 63 |
| #5 | DOWN ASS FOO | -0.41 | 48 | 50 |





