








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 161 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 45 matches | ||
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3305 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,259 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2746 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2921 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3317 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3275 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $850,937 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Turbo Fingerz | 48% | 267 |
| #4 | La Fiamma | 48% | 90 |
| #5 | Skeevy Nicks | 48% | 166 |
| #6 | Matt | 46% | 105 |
| #7 | DOWN ASS FOO | 42% | 31 |





