








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 478 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 416 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3077 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,848 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4348 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4221 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 5637 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4642 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,420,493 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | SirRub1nei | 37% | 180 |
| #11 | Owa ♖ | 36% | 169 |
| #12 | Luke | 35% | 43 |
| #13 | Yoda | 33% | 36 |
| #14 | Hayakusa | 32% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SirRub1nei | 30 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | Owa ♖ | 21 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | ✪ Pintola | 12 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | kkt | 9 | 0.0093 |
| #5 | pir a t a | 8 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pir a t a | 667 | 0.20 | 20 min |
| #2 | Owa ♖ | 553 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #3 | SirRub1nei | 541 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #4 | Jambrao | 345 | 0.40 | 10 min |
| #5 | ✪ Pintola | 328 | 0.10 | 8 min |





