








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 147 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 128 matches | ||
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1240 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,080 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1127 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1027 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1497 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1429 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $349,437 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 75 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ei mitään muuta | 50% | 38 |
| #2 | O.D.E™ btw | 50% | 40 |
| #3 | Viridog | 49% | 185 |
| #4 | Jerkous | 43% | 30 |
| #5 | aƚxx🗡 | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Viridog | 49% | 185 |
| #4 | Jerkous | 43% | 30 |
| #5 | aƚxx🗡 | 43% | 21 |
| #6 | P0P4R1 | 42% | 19 |
| #7 | d0gi | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ei mitään muuta | 7 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | Viridog | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | P0P4R1 | 2 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | aƚxx🗡 | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | O.D.E™ btw | 157 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #2 | Jerkous | 80 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | aƚxx🗡 | 57 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Ei mitään muuta | 54 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Viridog | 39 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jerkous | +2.41 | 71 | 61 |
| #2 | Viridog | +0.82 | 66 | 41 |
| #3 | P0P4R1 | +0.65 | 45 | 36 |
| #4 | Ei mitään muuta | +0.18 | 57 | 63 |
| #5 | aƚxx🗡 | +0.09 | 56 | 75 |





