








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 200 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 135 matches | ||
| Faceit | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2359 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,481 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 399 | 7% |
| Smokes | 1790 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1447 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1845 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $961,466 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 187 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Ei mitään muuta | 49% | 67 |
| #6 | LUR1158 | 49% | 185 |
| #7 | O.D.E™ btw | 47% | 83 |
| #8 | d0gi | 44% | 59 |
| #9 | JuustoSiili | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P0P4R1 | 7 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Ei mitään muuta | 6 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | LUR1158 | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | aƚxx🗡 | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | O.D.E™ btw | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | O.D.E™ btw | 286 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #2 | LUR1158 | 220 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | aƚxx🗡 | 199 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #4 | Jerkous | 144 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Ei mitään muuta | 124 | 0.09 | 3 min |





