








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 741 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 231 matches | ||
| Faceit | 77 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4430 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,040 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5050 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3622 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3071 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2297 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $616,706 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 578 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ei mitään muuta | 65% | 31 |
| #2 | d0gi | 60% | 20 |
| #3 | P0P4R1 | 59% | 32 |
| #4 | Viridog | 59% | 51 |
| #5 | O.D.E™ btw | 58% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Viridog | 59% | 51 |
| #5 | O.D.E™ btw | 58% | 38 |
| #6 | JuustoSiili | 56% | 94 |
| #7 | Jerkous | 50% | 24 |
| #8 | LUR1158 | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JuustoSiili | 22 | 0.0114 |
| #2 | P0P4R1 | 4 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | Viridog | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Ei mitään muuta | 3 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JuustoSiili | 309 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #2 | O.D.E™ btw | 112 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | P0P4R1 | 47 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | LUR1158 | 46 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jerkous | 44 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jerkous | +3.61 | 73 | 70 |
| #2 | aƚxx🗡 | +1.66 | 69 | 72 |
| #3 | JuustoSiili | +0.65 | 68 | 55 |
| #4 | O.D.E™ btw | +0.44 | 69 | 77 |
| #5 | Viridog | +0.03 | 58 | 36 |





