








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 818 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 998 matches | ||
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 191 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8172 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 66,145 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 16113 | 24% |
| Smokes | 13702 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 19984 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 16346 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,017,595 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 226 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Irwin | 47% | 68 |
| #11 | Heji | 47% | 66 |
| #12 | jar jar dinks | 46% | 196 |
| #13 | 🍕 𝙥𝙞𝙯𝙯𝙖 🍕 | 45% | 97 |
| #14 | Sate | 45% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rekku | 22 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Savuke | 14 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | aito_e | 10 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | jar jar dinks | 10 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Irwin | 10 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rekku | 1882 | 0.18 | 50 min |
| #2 | Savuke | 1035 | 0.14 | 30 min |
| #3 | aito_e | 591 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #4 | 🍕 𝙥𝙞𝙯𝙯𝙖 🍕 | 447 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #5 | Sate | 444 | 0.22 | 11 min |





