








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1424 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 954 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 129 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10005 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 46,808 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11049 | 24% |
| Smokes | 12374 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 13130 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 10255 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,757,519 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2267 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pikkis | 55% | 62 |
| #2 | Blokki | 55% | 73 |
| #3 | NaPeX | 54% | 207 |
| #4 | 🍕 𝙥𝙞𝙯𝙯𝙖 🍕 | 52% | 146 |
| #5 | MaYbAtch | 52% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Savuke | 48% | 402 |
| #10 | aito_e | 48% | 322 |
| #11 | Sate | 46% | 102 |
| #12 | Irwin | 46% | 79 |
| #13 | NakkiS | 40% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aito_e | 19 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Savuke | 18 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Stormtrooper | 16 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | jar jar dinks | 15 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Irwin | 9 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stormtrooper | 2006 | 0.19 | 47 min |
| #2 | Savuke | 1280 | 0.15 | 39 min |
| #3 | aito_e | 878 | 0.13 | 21 min |
| #4 | jar jar dinks | 670 | 0.10 | 17 min |
| #5 | 🍕 𝙥𝙞𝙯𝙯𝙖 🍕 | 658 | 0.21 | 16 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Irwin | +1.07 | 56 | 72 |
| #2 | MaYbAtch | +0.91 | 75 | 59 |
| #3 | Savuke | +0.74 | 39 | 63 |
| #4 | Sate | +0.58 | 63 | 70 |
| #5 | V0LL3Y | +0.58 | 63 | 61 |





