








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 289 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 153 matches | ||
| Faceit | 71 matches | ||
| Wingman | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2991 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,381 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5637 | 37% |
| Smokes | 3460 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2849 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3435 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $696,949 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 481 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DCLEV | 52% | 67 |
| #2 | bulleT | 52% | 27 |
| #3 | csacaffe | 52% | 33 |
| #4 | Tides | 52% | 66 |
| #5 | Benny10k | 44% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | csacaffe | 52% | 33 |
| #4 | Tides | 52% | 66 |
| #5 | Benny10k | 44% | 70 |
| #6 | beaux | 42% | 116 |
| #7 | Lobster | 31% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tides | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | csacaffe | 5 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | Benny10k | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | beaux | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | DCLEV | 3 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Benny10k | 326 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #2 | DCLEV | 262 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #3 | Tides | 208 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | beaux | 192 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | bulleT | 124 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DCLEV | +2.62 | 74 | 63 |
| #2 | csacaffe | +0.97 | 75 | 54 |
| #3 | Benny10k | +0.96 | 70 | 79 |
| #4 | bulleT | +0.50 | 74 | 58 |
| #5 | beaux | +0.14 | 76 | 48 |





