








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 196 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1171 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,725 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1661 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1008 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 947 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1109 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $497,142 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 278 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | beaux | 41% | 37 |
| #7 | DCLEV | 35% | 23 |
| #8 | connnski | 31% | 42 |
| #9 | Smacdoug | 20% | 10 |
| #10 | bulleT | 10% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | connnski | 7 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | Benny10k | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Tides | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | csacaffe | 3 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | beaux | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Benny10k | 301 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #2 | connnski | 215 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #3 | Tides | 155 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | DCLEV | 102 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #5 | csacaffe | 75 | 0.15 | 2 min |





