








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 413 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 114 matches | ||
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2655 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,006 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3529 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3834 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2627 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3016 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $524,509 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 397 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tides | 50% | 102 |
| #2 | DCLEV | 48% | 105 |
| #3 | bulleT | 47% | 36 |
| #4 | Smacdoug | 44% | 36 |
| #5 | connnski | 44% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | csacaffe | 9 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Tides | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | connnski | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | beaux | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Lobster | 3 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DCLEV | 332 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | connnski | 302 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #3 | Tides | 262 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | csacaffe | 255 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | Smacdoug | 201 | 0.29 | 6 min |





