








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 162 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 86 matches | ||
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2073 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,063 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1554 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1577 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 673 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1259 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $664,669 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | connnski | 52% | 66 |
| #2 | bulleT | 51% | 53 |
| #3 | JuL | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | Smacdoug | 50% | 16 |
| #5 | Benny10k | 50% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | csacaffe | 45% | 53 |
| #8 | Drink Lean Eat Ass | 45% | 20 |
| #9 | Orbit Inspire | 44% | 25 |
| #10 | beaux | 43% | 69 |
| #11 | Lobster | 43% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | csacaffe | 6 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Benny10k | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | connnski | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | bulleT | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | beaux | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Benny10k | 479 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #2 | connnski | 326 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #3 | bulleT | 192 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | csacaffe | 163 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | DCLEV | 148 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drink Lean Eat Ass | +2.03 | 73 | 66 |
| #2 | Benny10k | +1.32 | 70 | 80 |
| #3 | bulleT | +0.98 | 75 | 57 |
| #4 | DCLEV | +0.96 | 61 | 59 |
| #5 | JuL | +0.58 | 52 | 62 |





