








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 264 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 112 matches | ||
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2881 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,340 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2721 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2557 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2058 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1004 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $861,711 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 789 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Benny10k | 48% | 105 |
| #7 | Tides | 47% | 53 |
| #8 | csacaffe | 43% | 54 |
| #9 | JuL | 42% | 33 |
| #10 | Lobster | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | connnski | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Orbit Inspire | 4 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | Benny10k | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | csacaffe | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | bulleT | 3 | 0.0030 |





