








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1684 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 241 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 92 matches | ||
| Faceit | 86 matches | ||
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8015 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,653 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5835 | 35% |
| Smokes | 5201 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2704 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2913 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,707,987 of utility $231 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1761 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ゆかりん | 33 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | Big Fella | 25 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Madi | 19 | 0.0226 |
| #4 | rrr | 17 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | アカリ・ワタナベ | 4 | 0.0013 |





