








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1188 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 207 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 94 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6123 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,768 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3353 | 43% |
| Smokes | 743 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 2290 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1382 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,900,046 of utility $320 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 306 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | rrr | 42% | 165 |
| #6 | アカリ・ワタナベ | 42% | 172 |
| #7 | tsunomakura | 41% | 78 |
| #8 | durkio | 41% | 32 |
| #9 | spank | 29% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ゆかりん | 36 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | Madi | 31 | 0.0219 |
| #3 | female boy | 24 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | tsunomakura | 14 | 0.0090 |
| #5 | rrr | 11 | 0.0033 |





