








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 928 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 150 matches | ||
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6207 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,077 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6118 | 36% |
| Smokes | 4940 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2355 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 3664 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,655,873 of utility $222 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 769 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | tsunomakura | 53% | 59 |
| #6 | female boy | 46% | 139 |
| #7 | Big Fella | 42% | 165 |
| #8 | アカリ・ワタナベ | 42% | 38 |
| #9 | taro | 41% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Madi | 41 | 0.0232 |
| #2 | ゆかりん | 22 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | female boy | 9 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Arisa メル | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Big Fella | 6 | 0.0018 |





