








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 144 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Overpass | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
924 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,191 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1694 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1956 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1214 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1327 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $880,480 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 142 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | noob is here | 44% | 144 |
| #2 | Doggie | 41% | 185 |
| #3 | ツL1ndst3nツ | 41% | 172 |
| #4 | bel1eveツ | 37% | 145 |
| #5 | Kaffemaskine | 34% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doggie | 14 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | bel1eveツ | 11 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | ツL1ndst3nツ | 9 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | noob is here | 9 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Kaffemaskine | 5 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doggie | 860 | 0.23 | 21 min |
| #2 | noob is here | 487 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #3 | ツL1ndst3nツ | 453 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #4 | bel1eveツ | 443 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #5 | Kaffemaskine | 136 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ツL1ndst3nツ | +8.08 | 94 | 65 |
| #2 | Kaffemaskine | +1.94 | 71 | 83 |
| #3 | noob is here | +0.30 | 46 | 61 |
| #4 | Doggie | -0.16 | 19 | 71 |
| #5 | blind guy ⊕☁ | -1.77 | 63 | 49 |





