








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 232 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Overpass | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2380 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,042 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2963 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2150 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2102 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2827 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $760,519 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doggie | 49% | 191 |
| #2 | ツL1ndst3nツ | 49% | 167 |
| #3 | bel1eveツ | 47% | 147 |
| #4 | Kaffemaskine | 45% | 42 |
| #5 | L1tt4u *woops* | 45% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doggie | 14 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | bel1eveツ | 12 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | ツL1ndst3nツ | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Din0 | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Kaffemaskine | 4 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doggie | 841 | 0.22 | 20 min |
| #2 | ツL1ndst3nツ | 511 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #3 | bel1eveツ | 479 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #4 | Din0 | 364 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #5 | Kaffemaskine | 140 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ツL1ndst3nツ | +7.88 | 93 | 67 |
| #2 | Kaffemaskine | +0.77 | 74 | 82 |
| #3 | noob is here | +0.18 | 48 | 63 |
| #4 | Doggie | +0.16 | 19 | 72 |
| #5 | blind guy ⊕☁ | -0.86 | 62 | 51 |





