








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 28 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
455 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,871 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 430 | 23% |
| Smokes | 623 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 417 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 401 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $173,027 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | East Side Mario's | 40% | 10 |
| #7 | Mctubby Bumbles | 39% | 18 |
| #8 | colton | 39% | 54 |
| #9 | ⓐⓔⓢⓣⓗⓔⓣⓘⓒ | 35% | 31 |
| #10 | Koot | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arod | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | ⓐⓔⓢⓣⓗⓔⓣⓘⓒ | 4 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | The COACH | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | colton | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Mupps | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arod | 328 | 0.29 | 9 min |
| #2 | colton | 250 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | The COACH | 86 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | ⓐⓔⓢⓣⓗⓔⓣⓘⓒ | 77 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Mctubby Bumbles | 35 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arod | +3.63 | 51 | 73 |
| #2 | colton | +1.09 | 50 | 63 |
| #3 | Mctubby Bumbles | -0.57 | 60 | 56 |
| #4 | East Side Mario's | -0.58 | 32 | 61 |
| #5 | Koot | -1.06 | 66 | 42 |





