








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
725 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,381 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 583 | 24% |
| Smokes | 762 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 540 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 496 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $236,004 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The COACH | 64% | 28 |
| #2 | East Side Mario's | 53% | 17 |
| #3 | Mupps | 52% | 85 |
| #4 | colton | 51% | 86 |
| #5 | arod | 50% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arod | 478 | 0.26 | 14 min |
| #2 | colton | 373 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #3 | The COACH | 105 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | ⓐⓔⓢⓣⓗⓔⓣⓘⓒ | 79 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Mupps | 47 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arod | +2.50 | 56 | 72 |
| #2 | colton | +1.32 | 54 | 59 |
| #3 | The COACH | +0.42 | 48 | 63 |
| #4 | The Instigator of 09 | -0.12 | 49 | 56 |
| #5 | East Side Mario's | -0.38 | 25 | 55 |





