








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
850 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,947 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 287 | 15% |
| Smokes | 445 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 761 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 454 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $207,727 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The COACH | 57% | 49 |
| #2 | Mctubby Bumbles | 52% | 85 |
| #3 | arod | 51% | 144 |
| #4 | East Side Mario's | 50% | 30 |
| #5 | colton | 50% | 143 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⓐⓔⓢⓣⓗⓔⓣⓘⓒ | 11 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Mctubby Bumbles | 8 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | colton | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | arod | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | The COACH | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arod | 814 | 0.27 | 22 min |
| #2 | colton | 601 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #3 | ⓐⓔⓢⓣⓗⓔⓣⓘⓒ | 209 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | Mctubby Bumbles | 208 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | The COACH | 157 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arod | +3.22 | 54 | 72 |
| #2 | colton | +1.56 | 53 | 60 |
| #3 | The COACH | +0.67 | 47 | 67 |
| #4 | Mctubby Bumbles | -0.44 | 54 | 51 |
| #5 | The Instigator of 09 | -0.48 | 47 | 60 |





