








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 30 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
943 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,608 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1069 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1593 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1541 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1405 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $379,252 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flippy | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | East Side Mario's | 50% | 24 |
| #3 | Mupps | 46% | 91 |
| #4 | arod | 44% | 140 |
| #5 | colton | 43% | 138 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arod | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | colton | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Mctubby Bumbles | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | East Side Mario's | 3 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | Mupps | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arod | 797 | 0.26 | 21 min |
| #2 | colton | 598 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #3 | The COACH | 137 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | Mctubby Bumbles | 81 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | The Instigator of 09 | 61 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arod | +2.88 | 52 | 71 |
| #2 | colton | +1.52 | 50 | 60 |
| #3 | Mctubby Bumbles | +0.51 | 53 | 52 |
| #4 | The COACH | -0.56 | 46 | 67 |
| #5 | Koot | -0.62 | 55 | 38 |





