








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 129 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 256 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2243 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,918 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4173 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4685 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2973 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2087 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $539,407 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mctubby Bumbles | 51% | 86 |
| #2 | Flippy | 50% | 26 |
| #3 | East Side Mario's | 50% | 44 |
| #4 | Mupps | 50% | 143 |
| #5 | arod | 49% | 321 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⓐⓔⓢⓣⓗⓔⓣⓘⓒ | 14 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | The COACH | 11 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | arod | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Mctubby Bumbles | 9 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | Mupps | 5 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arod | 1664 | 0.25 | 46 min |
| #2 | The COACH | 526 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #3 | ⓐⓔⓢⓣⓗⓔⓣⓘⓒ | 360 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | Mctubby Bumbles | 216 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | The Instigator of 09 | 93 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arod | +2.79 | 55 | 72 |
| #2 | colton | +0.86 | 50 | 62 |
| #3 | Mctubby Bumbles | -0.44 | 53 | 53 |
| #4 | Koot | -0.93 | 52 | 43 |
| #5 | The COACH | -0.96 | 45 | 64 |





