








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 573 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 473 matches | ||
| Wingman | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 152 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3972 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,861 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7100 | 25% |
| Smokes | 7544 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 7830 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 6387 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,230,811 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 549 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | ogokkaaj | 45% | 122 |
| #9 | Paapparipa | 44% | 294 |
| #10 | Pot80 | 44% | 244 |
| #11 | are | 44% | 183 |
| #12 | DOP | 41% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | are | 14 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Pot80 | 10 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Paapparipa | 9 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | augustus | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | IPOMAN | 7 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pot80 | 966 | 0.18 | 31 min |
| #2 | are | 790 | 0.21 | 23 min |
| #3 | Paapparipa | 695 | 0.11 | 18 min |
| #4 | augustus | 474 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #5 | Kalle | 359 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | are | +1.62 | 58 | 79 |
| #2 | Pot80 | +1.34 | 84 | 71 |
| #3 | Raven | +1.16 | 72 | 75 |
| #4 | Janimati | +0.76 | 57 | 49 |
| #5 | augustus | +0.40 | 64 | 62 |





